Sunday, November 18, 2012
Chapter 2
Soo right now im laying in bed cuz im "sick" hehe. im not really sick. My aunt flow decided to join in on my vacation (if u know what i mean?) and so i dont feel like doing anything so i told my mom that i "got sick" this morning. and now shes letting my "rest" all day! when actually jake is coming over after everyone else leaves, and we are gonna hang out all day! and I know that you guys are gonna think that im CRAZY but i really like him! like i think i might LOVE him! i know, i know ive known for like not even 24 hours, but we have like this instant conection! i feel like ive known him forever, and its so weird cuz he looks really familiar, but im 100% sure that ive never seen him in my life! and omg! hes sooooo sweet! i seriously havent stopped thinking about him since i got out of his car yesterday! omg! im really glad that we are here for a month! yes! Everyone just left! gonna go get ready :)
....
so i didnt really have much time to get ready, cuz as soon as i got out of bed, got dressed Jake was knocking on my door (i think he was excited to see me) so i let him in. "why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt? its florida, in the summer, its really hot out" that was the first thing he said to me! and i honestly dont wanna tell him or you guys why i always wear long sleeves right now, so i just said "oh yeah umm its very comfortable" "ok then?" he said, obviously not pleased with my answer. "ok um i gotta go finish getting ready" i said walking into the bathroom. First I straightened my hair which took forever because i was having a really bad hair day! then i washed my face and brushed my teeth, i started putting on my make up. I guess Jake got a little impatient cuz he just walked into that bathroom like there wasnt even a girl in there! "hey, are you.." he asked then paused for a moment looking at the counter "wait, is that make up? and a hair straightener?" he asked in a surprised tone. "uh yeah, why?" i was very confused. "Holly, you do not need any of that stuff!” he said, kinda disappointed. “yeah i really do. it kind of helps with.. never mind” i said, wishing i woulda just agreed with him, and never brought it up. “no, no you can tell me, why do u need make up?” he asked curiously. He obviously wasn’t gonna just let this go now, “oh never mind, its a long story” i said hoping to get out of telling him. “well we kinda have all day. and im willing to listen.” he said sweetly. Its so hard to resist his sweet voice! “well,” i said trying to think about how to explain it, “well, i wear long sleeves all the time because i have... scars on my wrists” i said hesitantly. “oh my gosh, did you..” “cut myself? yeah...” i said finishing his sentence. “why’d you do that?” he asked, now very concerned. “um when i started middle school I got bullied really badly. people called me ‘ugly’ and well other worse stuff. every day the bullying got worse and worse. and my depression got worse and worse. I actually went anorexic and i well started cutting my wrist. And i actually had to transfer to many schools. Before i started at my current high school school i had to go shopping at thrift stores and i would spend HOURS finding clothes that were ‘cool’ and i baby sat as much as possible so i could have money to buy make up and hair products, and i pretty much transformed my self.” i explained, it was easier than i thought it would be to tell him, “Since i started high school i haven’t gone a single day without make up or doing my hair. It makes me feel a little better about my self.” i finished. “wow, thats too bad. i really am sorry to hear that.” he said in that typical sweet voice. “yeah” i said kinda ashamed. “um idk if this is weird but can i umm see your cuts? i kinda just want to see how bad they were ‘cause i had a friend who also self harmed, and cutting was something he did, and they were really bad cuts” he said. “oh sure, um i guess they are pretty bad, i probably shoulda got stitches on them, but its kinda late now.” i said lifting up my sleeve slowly, the scars go all the way up to the joint on my arm. “wow, those are really bad, oh my gosh, im really sorry about that!” he said examining my arms, “wait is that a..” he asked. “a new cut? yeah actually it is” i said again ashamed. i would never have admitted any of this stuff to anyone, espcially that i just met, and here i am just telling my darkest secrets to some guy i met yesterday! “um, if u dont mind me asking when did u do that one? and why?” he asked worried. “um this morning, because i was scared” i said, the truth just keeps popping out of my mouth! “aww y were u scared?” he said as he sat down right next to me on the bed. “umm i was scared to,” i paused for a few seconds, “be with you” i said in a softer voice than normal. “Holly, why would you be scared to be with me?” he asked surprised. “oh i guess i dont normally hang out with guys and i didnt wanna mess up things with you cuz, i really like you” i said, i cant believe what was coming out of my mouth! “aw thats really sweet, and i actually kinda like you too.” he said softly. “oh” i added. Then we kinda just sat there in silence staring at the ground for what seemed like forever. Then he turned towards me on the bed, and put his hand on my leg, and broke the silence, “well, since you told me your big secret, i should tell you mine.” “oh no, no, no. We’ve heard enough secrets for now. You can tell me later, but lets go down to the lobby and have some breakfast im starving” i said. “uh ok?” he said as i was walking out the door, “arent you gonna finish doing your make up?” he asked. “uh, no.. im not, u were right, i dont need it.” i said, again shocked at what this jake guy is doing to me! we walked to breakfast.
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